Friends for Dinner

December 16, 2025

By Bill Kilpatrick

I attended my first ever friends for dinner this past weekend and it gave me a lot to reflect on as we head into the holiday season. While it was not the biggest turn out—it was -18 degrees with a wind chill and the flu was wreaking havoc with many participants—there were people there from all walks of life. I was privileged to sit with three friends, one I know very well, and the other two I’ve met in passing, but I got to sit and get to know them on a different level and share a great meal with them. It’s true that the only reason I was there was to do a story, but it was a moving experience nonetheless.

It was moving for a number of reasons. Sitting in a freezing cold tent, trying to eat the warm food as quickly and safely as possible before it got cold, I could not help but think of the many homeless people who were doing the same thing that I was, with one big exception: that I got to go home to a roaring fire place, warm blankets, and safety. Things that I am forever thankful for. While the experience was but a small, and I mean small taste of what homeless people have to endure on a daily basis, the cold was enough to dissuade many people from attending. The Friends for dinner gathering was feeding over 100 people during the nice weather, but add some hardship and cold and people would rather stay home and I don’t blame them, but they missed good conversation, camaraderie, and some really good food.

As my hands got colder grasping the metal cutlery I could not imagine having to eat and sleep in a tent in -18 degree weather, even for one night. We would call the humane society if a person left their animal out in such weather, yet when it’s a human, we somehow rationalize it as either their fault or their choice. No one chooses to sleep in a tent when it’s 18 below zero, if they have another option that is. So, where are the options? Not temporary warming centres either, real options, apartments and housing and jobs. Where is the outrage at the government and corporations who could make things better, but instead choose to stuff more into their already overstuffed pockets?

Another thing that struck me was that I did not see one person on a cell phone. Not once. The only person in their phone was me taking pictures. Everyone was enjoying each other’s company and I could not help but reflect on how divided and lonely “social” media is making us. We seem to prefer to engage with each other online instead of in person. We take our frustrations and anger out on each other in the digital universe instead of aiming it where it belongs: at those in power those who can actually make tangible changes that directly impacts people’s lives like rent prices, social assistance rates, housing availability, etc. Despite the wide range of people attending there were no fights, no anger, just conversations, laughter, and enjoyment of each others company.

I’ve never really known poverty. I grew up in a middle-class home with lots of amenities, yes terrible things did happen there—my mother cooked pork chops in the oven, which is a crime in some countries I believe—and there was verbal and physical abuse, but we were not poor. I have been forced only once in my life to get food from a foodbank and I’ll never forget it. I remember asking my mother years later why she stayed with an abusive alcoholic for so long and her answer was that it was worse to be poor. A sad testament to the tough choices that people make in order to survive and the ongoing fairy tale that people who have money are happy.

Not everyone at friends for dinner was poor, but some were. Not everyone had developmental disabilities but some did. Not everyone was religious, but some were. Not everyone was homeless, but some were. However, everyone appeared to be enjoying each others company, laughing, talking, engaging, and connecting. And is this not what we all need more of?

I hope everyone enjoys the holidays in what ever manner they choose and I hope you are able to stay warm, laugh, talk, connect, and love.